I am living on the edge! And while that might sound exciting, it isn't fun when you realize the edge I am hanging from is one of complete financial disaster.
Like most Americans I am living paycheck to paycheck. If Murphy were to pay me a visit I'd be financially out of breath or worse, I'd fall from the edge since even without Murphy I am barely able to keep my balance. I am just one strong canyon wind away from being blown off this cliff like so many before me.
How did I get here? Well, lets just say that I was planted in bad soil and not really equipped to make effective financial decisions or any effective decision.
And just in case it popped into your head that I believe I am not responsible for my life, that is not what I am saying AT ALL! I couldn't do anything about what pot I was planted in or the character education I received as a kid, but I am responsible for what I do with it. Even now at the ripe old age of 34 and counting, I can't always control what happens to me, but I am still responsible for who I become.
The Flower That Blooms In Adversity
There is a plaque that I keep by my kitchen sink; it reads, "Bloom where you're planted!"
I was planted smack dab in the middle of 14 children. Yep! I am number ten in a long loud line of sibling rivalry. We were poor growing up, dirt poor, but none of that bothered me. I would just as soon wear hand-me-downs as designer clothing. It all had to come off before skinny dipping anyway. What did a tousle-haired, barefootin', tree-climbin' tomboy care about fashion?
I had all I needed as a kid: a pond full of tadpoles for catchin', a lazy windin' river for swimmin', blue skies, and warm summer afternoons unclaimed by homework or chores.... I was free to create my own world - I didn't need the popular toys that my peers vied for - I had an imagination!
Those are some of the pros of my childhood. I won't talk about the cons, at least not in detail, but suffice it to say that even some carefree imaginative little girls have skeletons in their closets or monsters under their beds that can stunt emotional growth and send their lives skidding into distorted realities from which it is hard to escape. In order to cope with childhood abuse, I learned at a very young age to live my life ineffectively.
The Habits of Highly Ineffective People
Even now that I'm all grown up and my metaphorical closets have been de-cluttered and my skeletons properly buried years ago, Stephen Covey could still put a pin through me as a classic example of ineffectiveness. But if I am to truly bloom where I have been planted, then I must learn to live the life I was given and to live it well.
Unless you have experienced something akin to my childhood (and I'm sure some of you have) you may not understand how growing out of the soil of abuse has anything to do with making money decisions as an adult. But let me assure you, that it has EVERYTHING to do with it! From balancing a checkbook to keeping within the restraints of a budget, I struggle to function because those bad coping habits developed early in my life and so deeply entrenched in my character are involuntary instincts to me now. To put it bluntly, I keep getting in my way!
I get over whelmed, stress out, avoid, put off, tune-out, procrastinate, lie, ignore, rationalize, make-excuses, binge, give up, guilt-trip, determine to do better, and then the cycle starts all over again!
We Could Do Better
I live on a middle-class suburban cul-de-sac with my husband and two little girls who have no skeletons to hide or demons to face, and we are living well. But we could do better.
We could do better than $100,000 of student loan debt! We could do better than my husband hiding his $700 monthly electronics habit from me! We could be debt free! We could be saving up money to buy our next house with cash (This feels out of reach now, but hey, what's the harm in dreaming?)! We could do better than a zero balance in our emergency fund and another big fat zero in savings! We are a disaster waiting to happen.
Yep, that's right! Murphy is due for a visit. In case you haven't heard about him there is a really old law, that has plagued humanity since Adam and Eve first stepped into the garden of Eden, that says if something can go wrong, it will go wrong! This is Murphy's Law, and I guess you might say that we are inviting him to bring disaster into our lives because we are not prepared. We are just hanging onto the cliff's edge by the skin of our teeth.
From Financially Flabby to Fit
Oh, there is room for improvement and even major renovations in our lives. And that is exactly what I, what we, plan on doing - improving our financial health. It is my plan to kick Murphy out of my life, by getting debt free and changing my financial fitness level entirely.
When I commit to any goal from getting and keeping the house clean to spending an hour at the gym each morning when I would much rather be in my warm soft bed (I have the most amazing pillow!), I find that having a friend along keeps me motivated and on track. So, I am inviting you to come along with me as I struggle to get my family out of debt and gain some financial muscles where I am all fat and flab.
Joining me on this journey might just mean that you get to laugh at the stupid things I do, and then, at least I was able to put a smile on your face, so it will all be worth it to me to have you along. Or it might mean that you get motivated and set goals for yourself and your family to lose your excess fat (debt) and get into better financial health than you have ever been in your life! Either way, I am looking forward to sharing this experience with anyone who is tired of having Murphy hanging around. It won't be easy; that's why I am counting on you rooting for me as I Murphy-proof my life!
There are things we all do to invite disaster into our lives. It's as if we are leaving the front door unlocked so that Murphy can come and go as he pleases.
